Reel Review

“It all started when he met a woman…”

“The Tourist” revolves around Frank, an American tourist visiting Italy to mend a broken heart. Elise is an extraordinary woman who deliberately crosses his path. Against the breathtaking backdrop of Venice, Frank pursues a potential romance but soon finds himself the pursued as he and Elise are caught in a whirlwind of intrigue and danger.

Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Starring: Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Paul Bettany, Rufus Sewell, Timothy Dalton
Duration: 1hr 43 mins

“The Tourist” seemingly went through a lot of changes before finally settling down and going into full production. After two directors dropped out, Donnersmarck took over (though he’d also left, and then returned). Tom Cruise was lead actor, and left. Sam Worthington took over, then also left. Then it was down to Johnny Depp, who stuck around to see the film through with 2nd choice Angelina Jolie.

So it got off to a rocky start, but after only 8 months production time, and with a budget of $100m, The Tourist finally hit the big screen on December 10th.

There’s been a big divide between critics and general audiences. From 147 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, only 20% of critics rated this film, which is exceptionally low compared to the 78% of positive ratings from the general public. So, it gets off to a slow start. In fact, it drags it’s feet a little, which is disconcerting to say the least. Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie are two of the best, adaptable actors that are around at the moment, yet they fail to engage us from the very start.

Whether it’s the script, the poor directing, or the chemistry between Depp & Jolie, the film doesn’t blossom the way you would hope. However, despite being (mostly) cheesy, and wholly unoriginal (though this is a remake of “Anthony Zimmer”, a 2005 French film), it is entertaining, sometimes witty, and has a good supporting cast.

Rating: (3.5/5)

A humble novice goes head-to-head against the reigning Donkey Kong champ in a confrontation that rocks the gaming world to its processors! For over 20 years, Billy Mitchell has owned the throne of the Donkey Kong world. No one could beat his top score until now. Newcomer Steve Wiebe claims to have beaten the unbeatable, but Mitchell isn’t ready to renquish his crown without a fight. Go behind the barrels as the two battle it out in a vicious war to earn the title of the true King of Kong.

Director: Seth Gordon
Featuring: Walter Day, Billy Mitchell, Robert Mruczek, Steve Sanders & Steve Wiebe
Duration:  1hr 19 mins

I started to watch this with mild humour – how sad (but rather hilarious), that a documentary about Donkey Kong could be taken so serious; and at first, I thought it was a joke. You may not take it seriously at first, but as time creeps by, you’ll find this one of the most amusing and engaging documentaries that you’ve ever seen.

You’ll disbelieve how maddening Billy Mitchell makes you, and your heart will be warmed by Steve Wiebe and the injustice he suffered in his hope of becoming the King of Donkey Kong.

It’s geeky, yet entertaining. It’s tense, yet funny. It’s the sort of thing that you won’t believe until you’ve seen it.

One of the strangest mokumentaries I’ve seen, and still unsure if I’m meant to take it seriously. It’s entertaining, in a maddening way, and that at least, makes it worth a watch.

Rating: (3.5/5)

“It all ends here…”

The long-feared war has begun and Voldemort’s Death Eaters seize control of the Ministry of Magic and even Hogwarts, terrorizing and arresting anyone who might oppose them. But the one prize they still seek is the one most valuable to Voldemort: Harry Potter. Harry’s only hope is to find the Horcruxes before Voldemort finds him. As he searches for clues, he uncovers the legend of the Deathly Hallows. And if the legend turns out to be true, it could give Voldemort the ultimate power he seeks. No longer just a boy, Harry Potter is drawing ever closer to the ultimate battle with Voldemort.

Director: David Yates
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Ralph Fiennes, Bill Nighy, Helena Bonham Carter
Duration: 2hrs 30 mins

Though visually fantastic and once again adapted well from book to screen (as do all of the Harry Potter books), it’s certainly not one suitable for younger children. The books have the ability to let children interpret it as they wish, they can imagine whatever they wish – the film lays this all out for them, in a way which is dark and fearful. For adults who have kept up with the Potter franchise, this is a brilliant, immense production which will captivate audiences of all ages.

At 2.5hrs this is a lengthy film, and despite being largely compelling, it feels a little bit too long. The three main actors – Radcliffe, Grint and Watson – have all improved over the last few years, but it still all feels a bit too wooden. Supporting cast however, are brilliant, and director David Yates has done a fantastic job with Part 1 of this finale.

Let’s hope that we end on a high, with Part 2 released next year.

Rating: (3/5)

Motherhood takes place in a single day that pushes to the tipping point Eliza’s fundamental fear she’s lost herself. Starting at dawn, her to-do list is daunting: prepare for and throw her daughter’s 6th birthday party, mind her toddler son, battle for a parking space during an epic alternate side parking showdown, navigate playground politics with overbearing moms, and mend a rift with after posting her best friend’s confession on her blog. On top of it all, Eliza decides to enter a contest run by an upscale parenting magazine. All she has to do is write 500 words answering the deceptively simple question, “What Does Motherhood Mean to Me?”

Director: Katherine Dieckmann
Starring: Uma Thurman, Minni Driver, Anthony Edwards
Duration: 1hr 26 mins

For those who weren’t aware of this film on it’s theatrical release, let me try and remind you: it was an independent comedy film based in New York’s West Village, showcasing one mother’s dilemmas of marriage, work, and self – shown in the trials and tribulations of one pivotal day. Does this help? No? Maybe that’s because it’s box office gross was £9 on its opening night and £88 on its opening weekend at London’s Apollo Piccadilly Circus; only eleven viewers purchased a ticket during the course of the day, with only one person attending its first showing.

It was noted that Motherhood was the second-worst flop in British cinematic history with the film receiving generally negative reviews. Though critics have slated it (20% positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes), the general public also reacted negatively towards it. And are the reviews and negativity justified?

Though Uma Thurman is generally quite good (and still went on to win an award for Best Actress at the Boston Film Festival), the plot and dialogue are slow and dull. Some parts of the film are sweet and intriguing, but as they’re few and far between, you’re left feeling disappointed for at least 90% of the time. Sometimes quirky, it means I’m not completely rubbishing this film, but overall, this is one that you shouldn’t waste almost 90 minutes watching.

Dreadful film, but good soundtrack.

Rating: (2/5)

“He always takes one….”

The Collector follows the story of handyman and ex-con Arkin, who aims to repay a debt to his ex-wife by robbing his new employer’s country home. Unfortunately for Arkin, a far worse enemy has already laid claim to the property–and the family. As the seconds tick down to midnight, Arkin becomes a reluctant hero trapped by a masked “Collector” in a maze of lethal invention – the Spanish Inquisition as imagined by Rube Goldberg – while trying to rescue the very family he came to rob.

Director: Marcus Dunstan
Starring: Josh Stewart, Daniella Alonso, Michael Burke, Andrea Roth
Duration:  1hr 25 mins

One of the most exciting horror/thriller films I’ve come across in a long while. Though the plot and concept isn’t wholly original, it still has you on the edge of your seat. Despite a range of reviews from critics around the globe, it’s a film you either love or you hate. It’s bloody, violent and gruesome, but it’s also unbelievable.

How does someone get the house rigged up with all those complicated traps so quickly? Why would they bother? Despite this, let’s not pick it to pieces too much; without going too deep into the logistics of it all, it’s a gritty, fast paced torture horror film which will keep you alert and attentive. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen tens of extremely bad films lately, that this doesn’t seem as bad in comparison. Either way, one of the better thrillers I’ve seen in months.

Rating: (4/5)

The country is threatened by a mysterious epidemic that alters human behavior. When Carol, a Washington D.C. psychiatrist, unearths that the origins of the plague are extraterrestrial, she attempts to warn others of her discovery.

With the help of her colleague and friend Ben, Carol examines further mysterious details of the conspiracy. She soon comes to the realization that her own son might hold the key to stopping an alien invasion and must fight to protect him.

Director: Oliver Hirschbiegel
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Jeremy Northam
Duration: 1hr 39 mins

Despite a range of bad reviews for this film, it wasn’t the biggest disaster I’d ever seen. Saying that, it was often random, with poor special effects, shoddy dialogue and terrible acting. Some parts were thrilling, but overall, not thrilling enough or interesting enough to keep you alert for the duration of the film.

he Invasion was not a success critically or financially, and with a very low rating of 19% from all critics on Rotten Tomatoes, and a slightly higher scoring of 43% from general audiences, it really hasn’t been rated well at all.

Not the worst film you’ll ever see.

Rating: (2.5/5)

When 9 first comes to life, he finds himself in a post-apocalyptic world. All humans are gone, and it is only by chance that he discovers a small community of others like him taking refuge from fearsome machines that roam the earth intent on their extinction. Despite being the neophyte of the group, 9 convinces the others that hiding will do them no good. They must take the offensive if they are to survive, and they must discover why the machines want to destroy them in the first place. As they’ll soon come to learn, the very future of civilization may depend on them.

Director: Shane Acker
Starring: Elijah Wood, John C Reilly, Jennifer Connelly, Crispin Glover, Christopher Plummer
Duration: 1hr 20 mins

Unfortunately, I saw this is standard def. Had I seen it in high def, I know I would have been blown away by the pin-sharp graphics and rich colours. The detail is finite, which brings the film to life. The story is cute, as are the characters and it’s visually stunning. Like Coraline, it’s quite a ‘dark’ film; not your typical kids film.

Though mostly enjoyable, it wasn’t as impressive as I originally hoped. Cute it may be, but there is no real substance to the film, the plot is quite poor and the voice acting isn’t great.

Rating: (3/5)

“What you don’t see will kill you…”

While rafting in the Bluefish River area, four college kids are attacked by the mutant cannibal hillbilly Three Finger. Only the teenager Alex succeeds in escaping running through the woods. Meanwhile, a group of dangerous criminals are transported from the West Virginia Grafton Penitentiary in a custody bus escorted by three security guards through the backwoods. When they park in a rest stop in a police station, Sheriff Carver is informed about the missing teenagers. The bus driver heads to their destination with the guards and the prisoners but a tow truck driven by Three Finger hits the bus that falls off the road. They are attacked by Three Finger and the perilous Carlo Chavez dominates the guards and the other prisoners. When they accidentally meet Alex, the girl tells how sick and threatening Three Finger is; sooner the survivals discover that Alex is telling the truth.

Director: Declan O’Brian
Starring: Tom Frederic, Janet Montgomery, Gil Kolirin, Christian Contreras, Jake Curran, Tom McKay
Duration: 1hr 32 mins

It got off to the tackiest of starts – dumb, talentless actors blundering through their lines; the token woman stripping topless to keep the interest of the juvenile male audience… and then it stayed that way. For over 90 minutes, you’re subjected to terrible script, weak dialogue, poor acting, dreadful special effects, predictable plot.

Okay, so I’m hardly beating around the bush here, but after Wrong Turn (bearable) and Wrong Turn 2 (silly), they should have stayed the hell away from the third. By the time the trilogy is complete, you haven’t even got the will to live.

Sorry juvenile males, but after those opening topless scenes, there is no more nudity – that’s just their trick to draw you in. Tip: don’t let it suck you in! It’ll spit you out leaving you numb from boredom and amazed that you managed to sit through the whole thing.

Congratulations if you survive.

Rating: (1.5/5)

Scott Pilgrim has never had a problem getting a girlfriend. It’s getting rid of them that proves difficult. From the girl who broke his heart-and now is back in town-to the teenage distraction he’s trying to shake when Ramona rollerblades into his world, love hasn’t been easy. He soon discovers, however, his new crush has the most unusual baggage of all: a nefarious league of exes controls her love life and will do whatever it takes to eliminate him as a suitor.

Director: Edgar Wright
Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Culkin, Anna Kendrick, Chris Evans, Brandon Routh, Jason Schwarzmann
Duration: 1hr 53 mins

This may be one of the only reviews you read for Scott Pilgrim that’s negative. Don’t get your heckles up yet though – because though I wasn’t impressed by it, I can understand why millions of other people worldwide would love it. It’s not a ‘bad’ film in the sense that it has poor script, bad casting, and dreadful special effects (as in this case, it’s quite the opposite!). But whereas the effects are comical, the dialogue witty, and the casting ‘okay’, it all seems a little too busy, dizzy and tries too hard.

The colours are bold and bright and this will look great when released on blu ray, but it doesnt compensate for film overworking itself. Yes, Edgar Wright has done well for himself, but this seems all a little bit too radical.

Crazy, crazy film that sometimes leaves you a little confused! Do not walk into this film even one minute late.

Rating: (3/5)

Sexy temptress Jennifer is a gorgeous, seductive cheerleader takes evil to a whole new level after she’s possessed by a sinister demon. Steamy action and gore galore ensue as the male student body succumbs to Jennifer’s insatiable appetite for human flesh. Now it’s up to her best friend to stop Jennifer’s reign of terror before it’s too late.

Director: Karyn Kusama
Starring: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, Adam Brody, J.K. Simmons
Duration: 1hr 38 mins

This may be a film for teenagers, or young men who admire Ms Fox a la FHM, but it’s not a film for those who are looking for a decent horror/thriller. Megan Fox isn’t the sort of actress who appears in serious (decent) films, and this just proves that point. Sultry she may be, but she’s a dreadful actress (recently proved in Jonah Hex), and there’s nothing about her, or her skills, that make you want to continue watching Jennifer’s Body.

What’s surprising, is that critics have rated this slightly higher than general audiences (RottenTomatoes). Though the budget was $16m, the film has so far grossed approximately $33m to date, and with the release of Jennifer’s Body on DVD and Blu Ray, this amount will slowly creep up.

Despite a few bloody, gruesome moments, do not expect the film to pick up and get any better. It continues on it’s dreadfully slow journey to the end, and doesn’t offer anything substantial to pique our interest.

Steer clear, be warned.

Rating: (2/5)